During one of these conversations, someone made reference to the then-popular book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff--and It's All Small Stuff, wondering if we should stop complaining and let it go. I responded, "I'm going to write my own book! And it will be all about the stupid shit that men don't have to put up with. It will be about periods and childbirth and infertility and runs in your pantyhose and tweezing and sneezing when your mascara's wet!" (I'm sure I was PMS'ing at the time.)
Over the years, I've occasionally promised/threatened to actually write this book, with lots of women asking for a copy when it was published. I never seemed to get around to it. When I was experiencing some gynecological challenges a couple years ago (problems, testing, procedures, worrying, etc.), I briefly considered writing a book called The Uterus Chronicles, but I guess I just forgot about this other book idea.
A couple weeks ago, I ran into a woman in Walgreens--in the feminine hygiene product aisle, of course. I was shopping for my daughter, and she was shopping for supplies for the Women's Crisis Center. After the obligatory comments about how many choices there are these days, we began talking about the bulky old pads that had no adhesive and required the use of a menstrual belt. Then we progressed into a conversation about our periods (cramping, size and frequency of clots, embarrassing leakages, having to stay home because of menstrual issues, etc.). Then she started to tell me about how easy her husband had it:
We went to some friends' house the other night. I started to get ready, which of course meant curling my hair, putting my makeup on, getting my husband's clothes out, getting myself dressed, feeding
the cat, checking to be sure the coffee pot was off, and, well, you know how it goes. Half an hour after I got started, my husband brushed his teeth and put on the clothes that I had gotten out for him, and then complained that I was taking too long to get ready. Men just don't know easy they have it and they don't have a clue about all the things we have to put up with.
I immediately began telling her about my book plans (which I'd completely forgotten about for five years). She was so excited about the idea and said the best thing: "You write that book. You deserve it!" I felt so encouraged, and I thought about how these conversations always made me feel connected to other women and how the other women came away laughing and happy. So I made a decision to write the book. This blog is essentially a draft of the book. It will allow me to write about ideas as they occur to me and, I hope, gauge responses from real women about these things.
I have lots of ideas, and I'll get to them all in good time:
- periods, periods, periods
- pantyhose
- makeup
- problem periods
- pregnancy
- problem pregnancies
- no pregnancy
- childbirth
- children
- no children
- bladders and uteruses (uterii?)
- spouses
- no spouses
I'll try to be fair and occasionally write about the wonderful things that women get to experience that men don't and the things that men have to put up with that women don't (I'm sure there are some). Despite the title of this blog, my intent isn't to do man bashing. After all, I have a man, and there are plenty of more interesting things to do with him than bash him. But what makes us women is all the things that we experience and the ways we experience them that are outside the world of men.
So, I hope you enjoy some of what I write, and I invite you to post comments if something stands out for you.
