When I was in 5th grade, I took clarinet lessons
at school. I have two distinct memories: the taste of a clarinet reed and the
words “do over.” Every time I messed up, I could try it again—and again and
again until I got it right. And I’ve lost count of how many other things I’ve
been able to do over. You can re-take college classes. You can revise writing.
You can edit blog posts, even after they’re posted. You can repeat your driving
test. You can un-do a thousand stitches of knitting and re-knit the yarn. With these things, once you have the new and improved version, the
original effort mostly fades away.
Sometimes, though, do-overs aren’t so easy. There are some
things we can never erase, things we cannot revoke from our histories, as much
as we wish we could.
I have sadly watched a situation lately that breaks my
heart, and it’s all because someone was trying to have a fresh start. A big and public mistake came back to haunt this person. All the old feelings bubbled back up. And in some ways, it felt like no progress had been made.
The key is to learn from each experience. Reflect on what went wrong, and try to see it from multiple points of view. Make the kinds of changes that can help prevent recurrences. When life hurts, don't waste the lesson. Grieve. Reflect. Learn. Change. Because there are no do-overs in the stuff that really matters.
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