Final stress

For years, I've experienced the stress of final exams. From my life as a student (writing, studying, reviewing, testing) to my life as a faculty member (grading, grading, grading, grading, dealing with emails from panicked and desperate students, grading, grading,...), I simply felt like I was immersed in different sections of the same morass. Now I experience it in a whole new way. Although I don't have the stress of those doing the academic work of finals, I do have the stress of supporting those who do. My mantra is this: No one is at their best right now.

One part of my job is primary this week: managing the testing services for students with accessibility accommodations. Many of those students work with us due to physical disabilities, learning challenges, or mental health struggles. In some students, final exam stress becomes particularly acute. I confess to moments of frustration with some of the situations I face: students who forget to schedule a testing appointment, students who keep rescheduling testing appointments, students who forget testing appointments, faculty who forget to drop off exams and have to be chased down, staff in non-academic offices on campus who somehow manage to forget that we a) are in final exam week, and b) are not available for brief tours or casually chatting in the way we might be at another time of the semester.

In my role, I often hear how complicated our students' lives are. My campus serves a quite diverse population, and my heart aches for someone just about every day. Even when things are going well, the juggling required by a single mom who is working and going to school boggles my mind. And it's important not to dismiss the challenges faced by a fairly typical young adult who is living away from home for the first time and trying to navigate early adulthood.

I am surrounded by the stress of others and feel drained every single day this week. I know it's normal, and I know it will pass. Perspective helps, but sometimes it is hard to see past the immediacy of caring for those who walk into my office each day.

Recently, I've been spending some time reading a marriage website with discussion forums. People anonymously share intimate details of their lives. I've been reading about couples in marriage counseling with issues that go beyond what many would tolerate. Two women are in the process of leaving abusive husbands. And then on the news I saw there was yet another mass shooting in the country.

With all that is going on in so many people's lives, I am awestruck at the courage it takes just to show up at school or work some days. So many of us carry invisible baggage with us everywhere we go. When I have a student raising her voice because she can't figure out how to get caught up on work she's behind on, or a student crying because a relative is experiencing a serious illness, or a faculty member who is worn down by all the time and energy that goes into support just one or two high-maintenance students, I need to stay mindful of the accomplishment of their simply being present, to struggle another day and try to keep moving forward in some way.

Some days, for some folks, just showing up really does deserve a gold star.