lost and found

I've just moved offices. Ever since I came to this campus in 2001, I've been in the English hallway. Several years ago, I got to move across the hall to a lovely big office with a tall window, and I didn't have to share it with anyone. I knew it was temporary, and that as soon as we replaced the faculty member who had been there, I would move again.

But being the packrat that I am (emotionally as well as in the usual sense), I grew roots. All my patterns of being on this campus were grounded in being in that area. My good friends are there. The refrigerator and microwave I use are in the Study Center, just across the hall. My printing goes to the Study Center. I get to see my colleagues' kids when they come visit. I've parked in the same lot for eight years.

Moving, although I knew it was coming, was a reminder of my status on this campus. I'm instructional academic staff, not faculty. Faculty get the good offices; IAS usually don't. If they do, those offices are shared spaces. I've spent the last month mourning my move. I waited too long to begin purging and packing. I refused to think about my new colleague because she represented my displacement. I've been so sad.

Yesterday was the big day. Once I got into my new space and could start settling, it was easier than I had anticipated. I was still sad. At this point, my biggest feeling of loss is related to the window. Come fall, when my colleagues return for a new academic year, I'm sure I'll miss them and my routine all over again. I'll be using a different parking lot and fridge from now on.

During this whole time when I've been anticipating my losses, I had forgotten one important thing: the silver lining. Yesterday, several of my new "neighbors" stopped by to tell me how glad they are that I'm now closer to them. One of my colleagues in a different building came to ask me if I'd like to have lunch with her and another colleague once a week next semester. The secretaries have all said how happy they are that I'm here.

So I'm still feeling a bit lost, but thanks to the relationships I have with people, I'm feeling a bit found, too.