Got sanity?

I've had so many things I've been wanting to write lately, mostly about my job and how I feel I'm in the place I'm supposed to be. I mentally blog all the way home from work, and by the time I sit down at the computer my words and thoughts have been replaced by dirty dishes and family conversations. But today I can't seem to write about any of the things I've been writing in my head.

Today what's on my mind is mental health.

Yesterday I spent almost half an hour on the phone with a student who was in tears. She is overwhelmed by her classes and family obligations and frustrated by her experiences with one particular instructor. She started crying on the phone, to the point where I said, "Sweetie, after we hang up, I want you to go stand outside. Take at least ten deep breaths. Soak in the sunshine and make some vitamin D. Your paragraph will still be waiting for you, and you'll be better able to tackle it." Today she stopped by my office to thank me. She felt much better after she took a walk and decided that maybe I was right. I wish it could always be so easy to re-balance our mental health.

I am watching, from afar, the implosion of a former co-worker. Although he never shared with me any mental health issues, I always sensed a fragility. Having struggled with depression myself, I understand what it is to stand in the center of a fog and not be able to see that there is any promise of light. This person seems to be dealing with more than depression, though, and it has been slowly happening over a period of months. I don't know if something new happened or if it is the result of a change in medications, but it is painful. Six months ago I realized that I could no longer talk with him about our typical subjects in the usual ways. Four months ago I sensed that his reality was not the same reality as mine. We occupied the same places and events, but he seemed to be responding to different stimuli than I could even see.

Now he has become disruptive to his colleagues and his students. My understanding is that he is off-campus for a few days, hopefully while seeking treatment. My heart aches to see that he has damaged the spirits of other good friends. They are upset, uncomfortable, and concerned. And he is spiraling out of control. I am  concerned for my friends and former colleagues. It is painful to think of the conversations they are having to have with each other and to think of the perceptions of my ill friend who thinks everyone is out to get him.

Watching it from a distance, unable to truly support people I care about, is heart-wrenching. My body and spirit are in my new workplace, but my heart keeps yearning back to people who are still a piece of me as I wonder about the ripples that will reach out and encompass me before this resolves.