making the boys cry

Wow, I have the touch these days.  There are a lot of tense people on campus these days, and all the real-life stresses seem to be magnified at this time of the semester.

Within the past three days on campus, I have had three male students cry--one in the hall, one in my office, and one in class.  Fortunately for them, I was the only witness that I could tell.  And each of them had really good reasons for crying.  (All were relationship-related, involving break-ups, cheating, and arguing.)

At the risk of sounding sexist, it is disconcerting to have a male student cry.  When it's a young woman, I put my arm around her shoulder, hand her tissues, and offer her chocolate.  Supporting other women is a natural thing for me, so it isn't something I even think about.

With a man, however, I don't know what to do.  I don't want to touch inappropriately (and why doesn't this cross my mind with a woman?), and the "chocolate will fix everything" line doesn't work quite the same way on guys.  With my husband and sons, I can always put my arms around them, quietly hold them, and then, when they're ready, gently ask them, "What's your next step?" or "What do you need from me right now?" 

I wish someone would hand me the rule book on dealing with male student tears.  They don't teach that in graduate school.